Marvel Superhero Movies: Here comes the D Squad

As a kid (and into adulthood), I loved comic books, Spider-Man in particular.  It was a pleasant escape from doing homework and getting good grades.  When that first wave of Marvel movies hit and they were doing all the A-list characters I was excited about it.  For the most part, the movies were at least respectable (aside from the abysmal Ang Lee’s Hulk).  Then Marvel continued to do second-tier characters like Iron Man, Thor.  They were well known enough to warrant a full-length film and were recognizable.  These movies of course made money and Marvel gained unstoppable momentum.Iron Man

Once they had made movies of characters we knew well they started digging up from the dredges.  When I heard about a ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ movie I was thinking ‘What? Didn’t they have a short run in the 90’s? Why?’  Was there a clamoring for this by the fans? Did people shake their fists to the sky and demand a Guardians of the Galaxy movie?  ‘We want our obscure super hero movie now!!’  I have heard nothing but rave reviews for the movie, but have no interest in seeing it as I don’t give a crap about any of the characters.

Then Marvel announced their phase 3 plan: here comes the money like rain.  The marketing is brilliant, the planning and making these films interconnect is equally brilliant.  Somehow, I can’t get geared up for a Doctor Strange movie, or a Black Panther movie.  The Inhumans?  Captain Marvel (didn’t that guy die like in 1983?).  It’s the who cares of who’s who. What bothers me is the fact that these third and fourth fiddle characters will most likely get better treatment than the first stringers (poor spidey).

Who would have thought we would have lived to see the day when an ‘Ant-Man’ movie would be pushed as a Spideybig blockbuster. Ant-man.  I read comics a good portion of my life and I barely know who he is.  Marvel (Disney) has become Hollywood.  Gone are the days of original ideas as Hollywood is completely tapped.  They have remade every horror movie that was ever worth the price of admission.  Now they are at Marvel’s feet begging for the next slew of superhero movies.  They don’t care if it’s a second reboot of the Spider-Man franchise or a reboot of the extremely lame Fantastic Four (Noooo!).

Personally, I am hoping for big screen movie version of Quasar and Epoch (if you don’t know who they are, don’t worry about it).  That rolls right off the tongue just like Batman and Robin.  In fact, Marvel is such a juggernaut right now (pun intended) that they could make up anything and it would go over.  They could release ‘Double Dildo Man’ and the studio head would ask ‘You think we could get a PG-13 on that?’

Here is a link to a shirt that pretty much expresses my feelings on some of these upcoming movies: